My apologies! I didn’t want to evoke pain nor make it seem as if the one side has it more difficult. We probably agree that it would be better if people went off of knowledge about a person rather than intuition.
I have had a lot of experience where gay men have talked about me sexually in front of them and suggested (on numerous occasions) that I be topless, stay the night, and have a “big cock.” I have also been called ‘pretty.’
I do understand where your frustration comes from. Do I feel threatened when such remarks come my way? On many occasions I did. Once I fell asleep during a movie and woke up next to a naked taller man touching my side.
The harassment is the one case. My blog post was more about listening to people. Imagine even in your own circles (I assume you’re heterosexual in this?), who are you more likely to listen to your super duper attractive budy male friend, or your not so attractive male friend?
There are biological reasons for this, for sure. I’m not saying that it is your fault or my fault. There is however a stigma. I see it often in my classes. The attractive people seem much more confident and cocky in their speech, because they are not rejected often. Meanwhile, the less attractive people are more likely to be shy.
The less attractive people look everywhere: Instagram, Movies, Shows, the News, and they see beauty. They then look in the mirror and cry because the “standard” — they know — will never be met.
Many of my very attractive friends are beautiful and lovely people — this is not a black and white issue. They really do care about people.
Last point, there is a difference between “beauty” and “hotness.” I think most people will desire “beauty.” And you don’t have to Megan Fox to be that or Chris Pratt. You just have to be comfortable with who you are.
I appreciate this comment and your previous one. They are both long and show that you do really care about this topic.