I think you're absolutely right that the IDF is not purposefully targeting civilians. However, I do think that they are not doing everything they can to avoid civilian casualties. Because of the fact that they can claim that Hamas is using civilians as shields, they are getting away with using 1,000-2,000 lb bombs. According to the majority of experts I have consulted on this, using these weapons in civilian areas is inexcusable. The New York Times does a good job at covering what these do and to what extent the IDF is being "accurate" with them. I recommend checking out this video.
But apart from that there still is the serious problem that Israel is not acting according to the standard of international law. And I don't see many pro-war advocates reckoning with this. I wonder what you make of the place of international law here as well.
Thank you -- and I hope your family is well as well.