I will never escape my foolishness. I’m a realistic romantic. A romantic rationalist. And that’s where the image of you comes in. You’re a combination of all that I find good and admirable in this world. A long chain of character traits that are lovely. Your laugh, contagious it clings to the happiness of my heart. It’s like drinking a hot cup of tea on a rainy day. It warms my insides. It helps me escape from this plain dull mind. The rationalist finds itself to be overcome by his heart.
I know it’s not good for me. To listen to you speak. To fantasize what it would be like to have that talk one more time. To start it again, even if I would know what you would say. I have to make it plain, you excite me.
It’s not that I have no peace of mind. It’s just that it’s dull in here. It’s a lonely place at times. See, my mind has been travelling, trying to settle from this crime. We’ve taken trips across the seas, to the Acropolis, by the mountains pass Calgary, to the green houses and spirited heights of Calvary. There I also saw someone. She was sweet, cute, and fair. Child-like, and she cared. I was entangled by her, the innocence yet cunning nature. And I hugged her. Not once. Not twice. I hugged her again and again. Until it became my want to be with her again. And so she said that she does not find like-minded people in her homeland. That I should come with her. And everything inside me was warm again. And so I wished to board on that plane.
Once I came home, there she was, gone again. Far far away. Home. And my mind thought maybe that’s where I should stay. In this far country where I was born and raised. God, where you used to come and play. Far from the fray.
It’s hard to think clearly now. My mind has travelled and it can’t find that one man. They say all love points towards him. Well doesn’t that seem dim?
There are traits in all that I find lovely and appealing. But not one will ravish me. Not one will do to me what so many have done before. Distracting from this boring frame. It’s a picture with no fame, no love only pain. Lonely I’ll die. Just with a sigh. No relief, no change. All I wanted was this motif. This broken rule. I can’t find you. You know it to be true. For you can’t find me.
And so I’m cursed. This bliss is what inspires it’s mind. It holds treasure that surely once I will find. Come and feast, be at peace. You will love, just like that man from above. The one I clung to, the one I touched. I can’t find neither of you. I’ve tried, but what’s it for? You can’t find me. I can’t find you.
I would love if you had the chance to read some of my other stuff if you enjoyed this one. I just passed 30 blog posts on Medium and I am very stoked about it.
Until next time, keep reflecting. :)